When divorce becomes game on, choosing to equip yourself with a team of divorce experts is the smart play. You could wait for your ex to lead the charge, or you can take control, assess your situation and plan a successful divorce strategy that works for your family and your future.
The first step towards assembling a successful divorce game plan is understanding what you want – and need – from your divorce. To identify your divorce goals and the divorce experts that will carry your plan through, analyze your situation objectively by asking yourself these key questions.
Represents a complete breakdown of civility between spouses. Divorce is war, with battle lines drawn over the kids, the house, the stock portfolio, and even who gets the microwave. In high conflict divorce, one or both spouses are out for revenge, aren’t afraid to bash the other in front of the kids, and may even hide assets or hurl false accusations to fan the flames. When conflict in divorce is already running high, going to court where a judge can hear both sides and render a decision may be best for everyone involved.
If this sounds like how your divorce is shaping up, learn more about contested divorce methods, including court litigation, and how to co-parent in high conflict situations.
Your divorce experts team: Expert divorce attorney, forensic accountant, child custody evaluator, family/divorce therapist, lifestyle coach.
Typically has one or two hot button sources of contention, such as differing goals for child custody or division of the family home, but other issues in the divorce are more matter of fact. Spouses may be still be quite hurt or angry with each other, but are generally willing to set aside their feelings in front of their children and want to keep the divorce moving along. When contested issues are not handled carefully, a moderate conflict divorce can blow up into a high conflict divorce, especially in the hands of a shark attorney who pushes court litigation at all costs.
Does this sound like your divorce? When conflict in divorce is moderate, mediation is often a highly effective method for resolving all issues of the divorce – even contentious ones – without going to court.
In mediation, divorces spouses work with a neutral third party mediator who guides and oversees divorce negotiations, but does not dictate terms. Mediation places control for the settlement outcome in the hands of both spouses.
Is achieved when spouses make it a priority to not waste time blaming the other person. While they might not have chosen to divorce, they are able to act out of reason and their children’s best interests, not from anger and revenge. They are also open to negotiation, and are probably working with an attorney who supports out of court settlement methods. Low conflict spouses may opt for mediation or collaborative divorce to resolve their divorce.
Interested in learning more? Collaborative divorce takes a problem-solving approach to divorce, with each spouse represented by a specially trained collaborative divorce attorney. Both parties agree, in writing, to be part of a respectful process solving problems jointly to preserve the integrity of the family, with appropriate experts called in to help. Collaborative divorce requires open and honest communication. In return, the process affords couples increased control over the outcome of their divorce.
Your divorce experts team: Collaborative divorce attorney, custody evaluator, appraisers and business valuators, financial planner, family/divorce therapist, lifestyle coach.
Usually happens when a marriage was brief or there are few marital assets to divide in divorce and/or no children. In an uncontested divorce, spouses are able to come to an agreement of their own terms relatively quickly and without disagreement. Spouses in an uncontested divorce may be tempted to take a DIY approach to divorce and file for their decree without a lawyer’s review of the settlement terms. Even in the simplest of divorces, going it alone can lead to mistakes that put your future in jeopardy.
Learn more about uncontested divorce and the smart way to speed up finalizing your divorce.
Experts for your divorce: Family law attorney, family/divorce therapist, lifestyle coach.
Divorce expert tip: Even the most vitriolic high conflict divorces can turn into a low conflict divorce, giving spouses the option of settling out of court. If you are caught up in a high conflict divorce, explore with your attorney how to defuse the situation. One effective step is to limit communication with an explosive ex to neutral and needed messages only, preferably in writing. Seeing a divorce therapist to learn coping skills can also help you manage your own emotional reactivity.
Prioritizing is everything in your coming up with a successful divorce game plan. What’s in play in your divorce?
Child Custody – Parenting time
Protect your father’s rights to time with your children. Sole, joint, or shared legal and physical custody. Which one is best for your situation?
Alimony
Alimony has changed in recent years. Will you need to pay, and what about if you are the lower earning spouse. Can men receive spousal support?
Assets – Investments
Protect your assets and investments in divorce with expert asset division strategies that will safeguard your financial future.
Business
Are you a business owner or business shareholder? Learn from our divorce experts on savvy ways to split or save a business during divorce.
Inheritances – Family Trusts
Did you inherit money or property from a relative or do you have access to a family trust? Get access to expert knowledge on whether these qualify as separate assets in divorce, and learn how to keep these assets safe.
Pensions – 401K
You need to plan for your future, and one of the most important pieces to this is understanding how 401Ks and pensions are treated in divorce. How can you best protect your retirement?
Privacy
Keep the details of your divorce from prying eyes by making these three key decisions that will protect your privacy.
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